Vacation!

We are closing the Centre for two weeks from Wednesday. It’s always a difficult decision to decide to close. We know for a good number of our clients it will not be easy for them but we break up trying to give client’s the minimum of disturbance. The other Centres are open.
Last week one of our female clients who is in interim accommodation, and is struggling as the accommodation is not that good, and she is feeling lonely, said that she hadn’t realised how noisy silence was! We did try to help with some practical items giving a radio and a small television, and much to the client’s credit she is sticking it out. Closing against a back-drop like this is a difficult decision but in the end clients need staff that are refreshed and energized. We know that when we re-open the clients will be pleased to have us back and the staff and volunteers will quickly step back into running the Centre and all that entails. So the blog will resume in two weeks time and no doubt it will go quickly for the staff if not for the clients.

Waste!

There is quite a debate going on nationally about what we do with our waste. The ever increasing landfill sites are getting fuller and local councils are being asked to look seriously at the collection of our rubbish. As a family we try and recycle what we can and having had a daughter out in Germany for nearly a year, and observe how comprehensively they recycle, you realise that our efforts are not that good.
Here in Bens we try and recycle what we are able too. I suspect that, as with all of us we could do better! We are trying to address at the moment the food waste we have. To be fair it is not that much at all, and you would expect this as buying food often is not top of client’s lists and so our food is appreciated.
As a Centre we do not charge anything for our food. We are one of only a few centre’s who does this. We are dealing with very chaotic clients and food is vitally important to them. Their health is often poor and when you are a street drinker sitting down to a well cooked hot meal is often a life-line. We take a harm minimisation approach to our client’s alcoholism. Alcohol is full of sugar and the liquid fills individual’s stomachs and masks their need for food. We knew one client who ended up in hospital with malnutrition due to the fact of his heavy drinking and not having being able to discern this need.
Lately there has been a small minority with an indifferent attitude to our food. This, and I stress this, is only with a small minority. Food has been left and then when seconds are served the client would like more. I add here that if the first meal served is not eaten then we do not give them any more.
Also at the moment we have removed the smoothie machine as a few clients make one and then have a few sips and leave the rest. Buying fresh fruit is expensive. It is a shame we have to do this as a few clients are spoiling it for the majority. It will be reinstated as soon as we feel clients understand why it has been removed.
We have fired a few shots out over the bow saying that we are seriously thinking about charging for our food. Here again the ones that are the most needy would be the losers.
We do not want to do this as our food is at the core of what we do. Our meal-times are special and it adds to our sense of family and community. Often these warning shots are all that is needed to tighten up our boundaries again and clients usually respond well. I guess at times we all take something for granted in our lives and need to be reminded of its value to us.

Distractions!

I’m writing the blog this week on ‘distraction’! This may seem a strange thing to write about but in Ben’s Centre we find very often that clients want to distract us from what is really going on in their lives
I guess Gordon Brown would appreciate a distraction this morning to give him some breathing space, and for him not to deal with the real issues in his party.
Our Clients often do not want to face what is going on in their lives too. Often by acknowledging the truth of a situation, leads to clients having to make a choice what to do about their situation, or just to ignore it and hope it will go away! Often it is at these times that they will use alcohol to take the sense of reality away.
We are faced with this dilemma on a regular basis at the centre. Do we go along with what they are saying, in the political world this is called spin, or do we actually listen but begin to address some of the issues that are presenting themselves. Would we be helping clients in the long run? It would be much easier to go with the spin and not challenge the distractions and allow us a modicum of popularity.
We have one client who has been coming to Bens for a long time and the first sign we have that all is not well is when we hear him ask everyone ‘what’s the capital of a country or a region? It sounds like a game that client’s initially want to play. This will go on constantly through the day if the staff doesn’t close it down. You may say well if that’s all he does then it is harmless enough. In itself it is but firstly clients get thoroughly fed up with this constant and in the end meaningless conversation and often it gets to boiling point and clients begin to lose their tempers. Secondly, are we really helping this client if we perpetuate these patterns that in the end become very destructive. By gently closing this client down we then allow him some space to find himself. Just to stop and rest not only their bodies but their minds is so important and quite remarkably it makes the client feel secure and safe.
Not allowing ourselves to become distracted by client’s smoke screens is an essential part of our job.
So, although it’s not the route to raising our popularity stakes it is a route that brings hope and restoration and relief to client’s who often have forgotten who they are, and are so weary with carrying it all around with them constantly.

Sailing Close to the Wind!

We are out in our little court-yard garden again now the weather has been so lovely. Mary, one of our volunteers, brought in some tomato plants, beans, lettuces strawberries and herbs. The clients really enjoyed all the planting and now we have to remember to water them every day. It is amazing to see the speed of how things are growing and this is such an encouragement to our clients and an incentive to do more.
Last year we had a lot of pleasure from watching our seeds grow and then eating our crop and many clients ate fruit and vegetables they hadn’t eaten before. Clients find it, as any of us do who garden, immensely satisfying and relaxing. We await the fruit and veg with eager anticipation.

Sometimes in Bens it seems that we have a very surreal existence. Although it may seem that we are giving ourselves a pat on the back, we do some good things with our clients and achieve what might be often considered unattainable with our clients. We are dealing with clients that have a major addiction in their lives and all the subsequent baggage that comes with this addiction, yet we believe that each client is special and there is hope for each client too. We are walking on a knife-edge every day keeping the Centre open. We desperately need money to cover all the running costs. I doubt, and here I am sticking my head above the parapet, that anyone would be able to run this Centre on the money we have received, as efficiently or as well as our manager Wendy.
This is the surreal part as if anyone came into the Centre, and infact they do and comment accordingly, you would never know that we were running on such a tight budget. Our aim has always to be to give our clients the best. This does not necessarily mean the most expensive but the best with our time, opportunity and vision to be able to break the destructive patterns in their lives. It’s a slow process but we are making a difference in lives and this is important.
We keep hoping the ‘Secret Millionaire’ will visit but in the meantime we will do what we are best at and that is being tenacious and keeping going!

Jonathan’s photos

Often, in the Centre, we embark on something and don’t realise the far reaching good effects this action will have. A case in point was when, during our Easter meal, my son Jonathan came to take some photographs of the Centre and the clients. Jonathan spent about half a day taking photographs in and out of the Centre. All of the clients were ok with him doing this. As he was taking the photos he was chatting to clients and, being Jonathan, having a laugh with them. Because he was staying around for a while the clients started to relax and the shots Jon took are so good.
Jonathan sent us the photographs on disc and we have had them on the computer playing non-stop. The clients have really enjoyed looking at them and the conversations around this have been so insightful. A good photograph can speak a thousand words and it was very humbling to see a client looking at themselves and speaking about what they saw in their own face. Often it was sad as they saw in their own eyes what was going on in their hearts. They shared some more details of their lives that we hadn’t been privileged to hear before.
It was also a time when they saw good things too and some of our clients realised how good looking they are! With the life-style our clients’ lead they are often unable to even look into a mirror and often they don’t want to anyway. It was such an excellent tool to affirm clients, in a way that most of us would not need, but also for them to look more closely at themselves and see such positive things.

We will, at some point, be able to use the photographs to a greater extent in the Centre, but in the meantime we are getting great pleasure from looking at them and seeing and hearing our client’s reactions. We are also grateful to Jon for his time and producing such excellent photographs.

“I enjoyed Jonathan taking them photos, in fact its the first time I’ve had my photo taken, since first, when I was in the Sally, and then here in Ben’s .  Jon’s a very good photographer, etc.”

George’s comments about having his photo taken by Jonathan.

Away Day

Last Friday was our staff and volunteer team-building day. We went again to Lose Hall in Castleton. We’ve had a real treat as this year we are having two and this was our first this year.
Wendy, our manager, always works so hard before we go to give us a day where we look more closely at the work we do and the team we are privileged to be part of. Our theme this year was shoes! In all kinds of creative ways we looked at shoes. What they said about us, what we assumed about other’s shoes and also most importantly what it is like to walk a while/mile in our client’s shoes. 
It was good to learn more about our volunteers who often don’t see or know each other as they usually volunteer on different days. It is also good to be able to discuss more fully why we do things, as a staff team, often in a certain way at Ben’s Centre.
Wendy feels very strongly that we all play vital roles in the Centre and all of us have something unique to give. She also wants to express her gratitude for the dedication of the staff and our volunteers especially who give of their time so readily.
The icing on the cake is the wonderful lunch we are given at Lose Hall. It is delicious and again is a special time of relaxation and continuation of our ‘bonding’, or getting to know each other. Our days are good fun and usually get comments from other groups there that they wish they were with us as it looks much more fun than their groups!
It was an excellent day. We all came away from the day knowing each other better and learning and understanding more about the lovely men and women we work with. Joy of joys we have another to look forward to in September. The success of the day was due to the hard work and vision of Wendy and we are all very grateful.

Following Instructions

I suspect that most of us this weekend are thoroughly fed-up with hearing about MP’s expenses and that they are working within the ‘guidelines’ they have been given.
It would seem that they are obviously quite loose guidelines!
This has caused me to think about following instructions and how some people really love to follow directions and thrive on very clear boundaries; whilst others love the freedom of being ‘free spirits’ and find following rules and regulations more difficult.
Our clients, because of their life-styles, mainly fall into the latter category. As I have mentioned numerous times at Ben’s Centre we run a tight ship with boundaries clearly in place, which is necessary for the safe running of the Centre.
A very simple yet very effective way of getting Clients to follow instructions is by reading and following a recipe. We are great fans at Bens of Mary Berry’s cookbook. On Friday a client made a delicious chocolate cake following one of Mary Berry’s recipes and it was a great success. It was a recipe that was different from a lot of other chocolate cakes we have made in the past and needed the client to follow the recipe more closely. It seems on the scale of things such a small detail yet in the making of a successful cake very important, and also a small but important lesson to our lovely client that instructions are there to help you to learn and develop skills. The reward is a cake that I’m sure Mary Berry would have enjoyed.    Client’s and staff had a delicious treat which we so needed on Friday. It was a day that our boundaries had to be constantly re-enforced and also Wendy was aware that deadlines were very close to returning important monitoring forms that day. I wonder what delight we will produce this week courtesy of Mary B!

Self-Esteem

We can often forget how very low our client’s esteem can be. Often client’s reluctance to try anything new or even just do something different is often because they have had so many knock-backs when they have tried in the past. That casual throw away remark that sticks and can cause many problems later in life. We all can remember a time when that has happened to us. Life often lived on the streets, and struggling with a strong addiction, can take all clients’ energy and sap any motivation.
It is always a challenge at Ben’s Centre to get clients to engage. Clients often don’t understand why we are so keen to encourage them to try different activities. Staff often say that we wish we could have before and after photographs of our clients when they take part in an activity. Afterwards they are like a completely different person to the one who began the activity. We all love to hear people praise something we have done and when we are around people who encourage us it really lifts our mood and our whole well-being.
On Friday Wendy was in the kitchen and made Double Choc Muffins with a client. As other clients and staff and volunteers tried the Muffins, and so enjoyed them and kept thanking the client for making them, the client who made them just seemed to grow in stature and confidence. It was a very small step in lots of ways making the Muffins but the effects were immeasurable to our client. It has a ripple effect to other clients as if we suggest cooking or trying new activities they want to be a part too and receive encouragement and praise.

Back after Easter!

Well we are back again after our Easter break. We ended on a high with a very special meal. Wendy was in the kitchen and we had a delicious meal of lamb with all the trimmings. We put the tables together like we do for our Christmas meal which gave us a sense of family and belonging. Unlike Christmas, when it can be a sad time, this meal was light-hearted and fun. My son Jonathan had come up for the holidays and with the client’s permission was taking some photographs. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and the clients enjoyed having their photographs taken. You will see some of Jon’s work on the blog at a later date.
This morning we have been warmly welcomed back and clients have been telling us they missed us. Give them a few days and they’ll be grumbling again! We are pleased to be back and we look forward to all the ups and downs we will encounter in the Ben’s Centre in the coming months.

Free Gifts

While I was off sick Wendy wrote our weekly blog on ‘Marmite’. It may seem an odd subject to write a blog on but ‘Marmite’ features large in our Centre. The bottom line is that the clients love it and use an awful lot of it!
Anyway last week we received a phone call from a PR firm who work for Marmite and there is some digital agency that picks up when a brand name is used on the internet and reports back to the company. I spoke to a lovely lady who said they had read our blog and they would like to send us some free ‘Marmite’. We received a box today, full of jars of ‘Marmite’ and we are so grateful for this generous gift.
We are a Charity and have a constant struggle to find funds to run Ben’s Centre so this gift is doubly appreciated; and also made us feel that our clients, who don’t get a lot of public support or awareness, are valued.
Our Centre offers free food. This entails clients having a simple breakfast of toast with ‘Marmite’ and jam. Alongside this we have fresh fruit available and yoghurt to make smoothies and then coffee and tea. At lunch-time we serve a hot nutritious dinner. Most of us know that food prices have really escalated in the last months and again it has become more of a struggle for our Centre to provide this. We do provide it and this is in part to Wendy, our manager, being a very skilled shopper. We probably spend about £20 per day on average, which is amazing when you see what the standard is of the food produced. Wendy shops once a week at Morrisons and manages to keep within our budget and yet provide a healthy variety of food. She was a little annoyed this morning when she was only allowed to buy six Easter Eggs when we needed four times as many but no doubt Wendy will get round this in some way and our clients will receive their eggs when we have our Easter meal on Thursday.
We will be closed from Good Friday and re-open on Monday April 20th, our blog will re-start then.